17 Months and Cabin Fever.......

Another Month into the Abyss.

Well I have stayed away from the boards and groups lately.

And have started pretty much a full scale remodel on 2 bathrooms at the same time.

I figure i have so much time left i could completely remodel and gut my house 3 times before this adoption is over.

So I am spending all my time working keeping busy and I am so dying to turn the blasted heat off already.

I just want the sunshine and warmth already. I want to sit in my hot tub and not get frost bite.

It has been so windy here the past 3 days I keep seeing my shingles go flying by the window. lol

Well with the way things are going I am sure I will have plenty of time to put on a new roof too.

I am way to Snarky today ( OK everyday) .

Me and the Old ball and chain have decide to bypass the Easter Hoopla and have a good Old fashion BBQ. Ribs chicken all the fixens.

Well what can I say We Crazy like that.

Happy Easter All ,and may None of your Eggs be Rotten.

XOXO Dee

16 - And Home Atlast........

Where do I even start......................

First I want to say Thank You for all the emails and cards.

I've missed so many things but let me start by saying I am feeling better just week and sleepy and my ribs are so sore.

I have lost 19 lbs and have realized that being forced to eat hospital food is a great diet plan.

Before i evn get into my European fiasco i want to say a couple of HUGE THANK YOU'S.

First to the Love of my Life for never leaving my side . and making me laugh even though it hurts.

2nd: To my Dear Sweet Friend Heather for not just being my secret pal but for being a really good friend to me since i started this adoption.

Heather made my daughter to be the most beautiful hand made blanket i have ever seen.

Trust me the picture don't do it justice.

This is Mila's 1st Real Blanket and I know she will Love it as much as I do.

Heather also had her nice friend send me some tiles made in my birth country of Portugal.

as soon as I feel a little stronger they will be displayed on my mailbox in front of my house.

Thank You Heather for your kindness and generosity but mostly for being my friend.

I will write more later I'm tired.

15, and I'm leaving on a jet plane.....

Well we are off to our Long Holiday in Europe.

I finally have decided its time to drop off some excess emotional baggage in its rightful place.

I have waited a long time and spent way to many years chasing this dragon.

UPDATE: Things are NOT going as planned I have caught some bug and feel so sick .

There is nothing worse than feeling so sick when you are on vacation and stuck in a hotel room.

I hope all my friends in the states are having a better time than i am.

Happy Holidays........

14 Months LID,,,,,,,

Well 14 Months Down and 36 More to Go.......

I am Not A Happy Camper Today in fact I'm down right annoyed.

Don't get me wrong this is not about "Think Positive" this is about the Cold Hard Truth staring Me in the Face.

It's about Doing the Math = They are still in 2005 and only referring a week a month.

A 30.000 Backlog and a quota that has dropped down to 7000 a year.

I have to believe for the sake of whats left of my sanity that attrition will play a small factor in all this.

I know that for some people that they feel like they are being led to China by a higher calling , Or they believe that all things in God's good timing.

I respect your Beliefs and admire your devotion truly I do.

But this is not mine.

I know that surely I am not the only person out here who is just down right hurt and angry.

You know when I started this I too was all Paper pregnant red thread and lady buggy too.

But I was also led to believe that I would have been a Mom by now.

Instead as I write this I sound angry jaded and bitter.

I feel like I'm being held emotionally Hostage.

This is my one and only and last chance to be a mom.

There is No where else to go I'm just here waiting.................................

I just can't play the PC PAP Game anymore.

The wait sucks and I refuse to pretend otherwise.

And to my Dear Sweet Friend Thank You for Always letting Me be Me ........

And know the Door Always swings both Ways......

Dee (Mila's Mom)

Wow 13 Months & I feel like Crap......

I'm still alive!!!!

I don't have time to breathe let alone blog.

Thank You Secret Pal for the Box.

And for your friendship.....

RIP Mr. F...... You were a very nice man and a wonderful Father.

A......./ I am always here for you -te quiero mucho mi hermano.

I am desperately racing against time trying to finish off the 2ND floor off this house before winter kicks in but it has gotten to cold too fast,already.

I refiled all my paperwork and i am waiting to hear back from USCIS.

Still don't know if we are going away for the holidays or not?

OK I suck at writing in here.

I wish I could say that I am a-okay but that would be a lie.

This waiting and unknown is slowly unraveling me but i am trying like hell to stay busy so i don't think about it every day.

In the past 2 months my life has been filled with Sickness/Sadness/Surgery/Death.

I love you Rob with all that I am and all that I will Be.

Thank you for being my Rock Papi.

OK enough rambling.....................

Dee

1 Year ..........

Today Marks 1 year I have been logged in China.

And I still havent a clue as too how much longer we have to wait.

This really sucks I refuse to pretend otherwise...............

Dee

11 Months Lid Today.......

Well and it's 11 Months Down and more than I even care to think about to go.

It has been a really trying month and sometimes I have honestly just wanted it to ..................

I have really learned alot about the people around me.

I have also learned that sometimes a New Friend has the Power to Help you heal and can genuinely touch your heart.

Those are the things that I will take with me on this journey.

I do know that what ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger but some times you just have to leave the toxic people behind.

Well I'm off to the Hampton's for a few days and just in time.

I will be DTC 1 Year on 9/11 and it is a sad day for us.
And so it goes....................

xoxo Dee